Monthly Q&A Digest (originally written for Playboy.com)

Dear Dr. Linda,
I'm 23 and have been sexually active since high school, but I still haven't had an orgasm during intercourse. I've heard about the G-spot, and that stimulating it would probably do the trick, but I've been too embarrassed to ask anyone before. Where is it, exactly?
--Nicole

Since the clitoris has the most nerve endings, stimulation of this "C-spot" during intercourse is a more obvious route to sure-fire orgasms. How to accomplish that? "Have hand, will travel" is one obvious route. Try positions that let you or him stimulate your clitoris during intercourse, not just before or after.

For many women, stimulation of an inner hot button called the "G-spot" (named after a Dr. Grafenberg) can also boost arousal and trigger orgasm, often creating a different and terrific sensation. Where is it? It's is a dime to half-dollar size area located on the front wall of the vagina (the side closest to your navel), an inch or so inside. When Dr. Grafenberg first described this area in 1950, he thought the tissue was the female counterpart to the male prostate.

Recent research confirms the region is part of the internal portion of the clitoris, which can extend all the way to the anterior vaginal wall in some women. This finding helps explain why some women experience erotic sensations there, and others don’t.

Many women also report stimulation of this potential hot spot too early during sex triggers an unpleasant sensation of needing to pee. But when it's stimulated after reaching high levels of arousal--and your bladder is empty--it feels great and often triggers orgasm.
With your boyfriend, be adventurous. Wait until you're very worked up during foreplay; then have your boyfriend finger you in this area. See if it's turn-on territory. During intercourse, try positions that are more likely to stimulate that inner clitoral tissue. Rear-entry often does the trick; if you prefer the missionary position, place a pillow or two under your buttocks to tilt your pelvis upward. Or your partner might enjoy elevating your pelvis with his hands. A firmer mattress also helps you avoid a downward pelvic tilt.

If none of this works, don't despair. Turn your attention to discovering "H-spots"--hot spots that could be hiding anywhere. Some women find internal hot spots located elsewhere in the vagina. To unleash all of your erotic potential, explore your entire body from head to toes--they might really pleasantly surprise you! Enjoy!

Dear Dr. Linda, What can you tell me about age differences between two people who care about each other? I'm 21 and he's 31. What kind of problems, if any, does this difference pose?
--Laura

"Birds of a feather flock together" is the rule in relationships and marriage. That includes similarity of age, especially in first marriages. Typically, the man is slightly older than the woman, reflecting a time-honored tradition. In second marriages, the husband is often at least six years older than his wife. Many more men than women land up with a second set of children.

Many argue that age is a state of mind. Is your 31-year-old young at heart? Are you exceptionally mature? More importantly, do you share similar interests and values? Are you in synch regarding the kind of lifestyle you want to lead right now. If he's sowed his wild oats, is emotionally and financially ready to settle down, and that appeals to you, no obvious problems exist. Way down the pike is the issue of your greater life expectancy. For most, that's not a major life mate consideration for a decade of age difference.

On the other hand, many women your age have not yet completed educational goals, are still exploring who they are and what they want in life. For such women, there's no immediate need to focus on a permanent relationship/marriage.

An honest look at your goals in life, where you are in relation to them, and how to reach them are extremely important considerations in arriving at your decision to pursue this relationship or move on. Good luck.